i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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