Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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