I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
