He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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