I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
