Everything about him screamed your future.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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