i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Two words: nipple clamps
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