Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
