you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
