How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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