why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
