About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
