So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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