yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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