the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
