weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this boner is exhausting
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
