The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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