Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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