I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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