We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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