I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
