She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo