Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
