I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
