physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
