He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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