Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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