but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize