new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize