So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm passing your future prison.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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