ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
