I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
