god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
