I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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