Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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