honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
