btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
