All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
