I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
