If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
