So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
