I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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