Where are you?
In a non slutty way
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
