guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
