Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
