she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
