I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
