White coat. Heels.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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