i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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