you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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