She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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