Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize