I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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