I need help removing her.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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