I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
