How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
