I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.