So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk