what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.